The Birthday Cake

One of the worst, most amateur, cliched 'mob' representations I've ever seen! Save yourself from fast forwarding through this tripe. Intrusive sound drowning out dialogue (probably just as well really!); glacial progress of protagonist as he e.g. Puts on a shirt; takes cake to party... and to top it all an embarrassing 'cool priest' cameo from Ewan McGregor (ahem... artistic integrity?). Dear, oh dear.

I saw a promo. It mentioned the "birthday cake." I think "Godfather 3." That's it. This movie is a bad copy of every bad mob movie ever made. A waste of time. The writing is high-school stuff. I can't believe that Luis Guzman couldn't get a better gig.

I think we expected more. This is the kind of film that follows mob family movies like Godfather and Sopranos -- even some of the same actors -- and a lot less happens than we'd wish, and it's not as clever as it wishes. Excellent quality overall but for me the blandness of the story makes it a waste of a great group of talent.

The story does not make sense because things are very poorly explained. I don't understand a thing they are trying to convey. I watched this for Ewan McGregor, and he is in it for one minute. A huge disappointment.

I went into this movie knowing nothing and it was the first movie I watched in the theaters since the end of 2019. I only give it two stars because it is comically bad and I did get a morbid sense of amusement from how bad it was. The soundtrack conflicts with the images on screen often and there are these jarring guitar stings that come incrementally that blow your ears out. They got a cast with some names and it comes across as if they all only chose to do it on the condition that they only would have to show up for one day. It comes across as lazy and it also has a bunch of plot lines that never crescendo to anything, it just pads time. I don't know who this movie is for, but if you want a good laugh from a bad movie then this is the one for you.

Lots of great stars, playing characters that are not fleshed out at all, and super amateur feel to whole thing. $6.99 was wayyyyy too much to waste on this. If you're curious, wait til it's .99 or free- then it won't hurt as much when it's over.